Monday, July 4, 2011

I need to vent

I know, I know - you don't have to tell me.  This was the year we were supposed to keep up with the darn blog.  Here it is July and our last post was...February.  Things happened.  What can I say?

Funny you should say that - I need to vent tonight.

First off let me be clear.  I absolutely love my son.  I adore him actually.  However, his alter ego Mr. Crazy Ben kind of gets on my nerves.

This weekend was a long weekend, not because we got an extra day off for the fourth of July but because my adorable son (he's my son when he's in trouble) decided to show a lot of his crazy side.  It all started innocently enough.  I decided to give my wife a break and take on the dishes, cooking, and Ben duties (and doodies) this weekend.

We were off to a good start.  Friday night went off without a hitch and Saturday morning, even though it started way too early - I'm talking before 6:30 AM early - was relatively pain free.

Somewhere between Saturday naptime and night night time the Crazy Ben decided to visit.  You can't reason with this version of Ben.  You can't even have a normal conversation with this Ben.

For example, a conversation might go something like this:

Crazy Ben - inching towards pantry door - mischievous smile on his face
Dad (Me):  Ben don't do that.  Ben - Daddy is in the pantry stay...Ben please don't... put it down BEN NO BENNNN...
"Whack!"  A flying toy train hurdles through the air, misses my head by inches, and bounces off the dryer.
Crazy Ben:  Laughing - anticipating my next words parrots "Ben no throw!"
Dad - TIME OUT.  Ben we don't throw trains.
Crazy Ben - starts to cry "No throw trains!!!"

When Crazy Ben comes to visit life is full of start-and-stop sentences like "Put Ben please don't...BEN stop....Bennnnn...but invariably it always ends in "TIME OUT!"

Crazy Ben can appear out of no where.  We could be lying in Bed cuddled up watching "Cars movie" for the 14,367th time since Friday and all of a sudden my eyes start to tear from a lightening pain received after a head butt to my nose.   Where did that even come from I'm thinking as I try to see through the stars while Crazy Ben says "Daddy crying..."

Crazy Ben usually comes out right before bed or nap time when Mom and Dad are at their energy lows.  He likes to run screaming through the house, arms flailing, laughing and often somersaulting dangerously close to any precipice or hard surface in the house (stairs, step down to family room, dining room chairs, etc.).  

By the way, you know how animals can sense an earthquake or some type of on coming natural disaster?  I think Max is developing his Crazy Ben sense because he has learned to disappear when the Crazy Ben is about to bring-in-the-noise, bring-in-the-crazy.  I need to develop this sense and then hide out with Maxy.

But as quickly as Crazy Ben appears, he can disappear and turn into the Ben I adore.  The Ben that can laugh until he makes himself hiccup.  The Ben that hugs you and says "I love you daddy."  The Ben that makes my heart melt and bear through the growing welt on my forehead.