Wednesday, June 24, 2009

What they say and What they really mean

Over the past two weeks, I've gotten pretty good at figuring out what Big Ben needs and wants when he his crying. But I've also recently discovered that there is a whole other non-spoken language uttered by friends and family when it comes to their needs and wants.

For example:

If it is 2am, Big Ben is crying, and my wife nudges me and tiredly says, "You want me to take this one?" she really means, "Hey get up slacker and go feed and/or change our kid. I had him all day."

Any sentence that starts with the words "Your son" means that the rest of the sentence will be bad news.

Contrarily, any sentence that starts with words "Our son" as in "You'll never guess what our son did today" is pretty much going to be good news - usually to my wife's credit somehow.

Loud crying followed by snorting, followed by head thrashing against chest means "feed me now dad or mom!"

As much as I'm dying to take credit for it, I know that any smiles that Ben offers at this point is due to gas - specifically the release of gas. On the other hand, I have to admit that also makes me smile.

Anytime a friend or family member asks "are you getting any sleep" they really are thinking "I know they aren't getting any sleep because I wasn't at this stage - I just want to hear another person say it out loud so I can laugh inside - sucker"

When grandma calls and asks how we're doing it really is just filler until she feels enough words have been spoken and she can safely ask to come over and play/hold Ben.

And these are just a few that I've learned so far. I welcome all of your thoughts and suggestions to help me build out my "what is not being said" vocabulary. Please provide them in the comment section below.

Oh wait - I have one more:

When my wife says "For the love of God put down that f@&%n computer and stop blogging" well, she really means that...good night!

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